Dagur 5<\/p>\n
\u00deegar ma\u00f0ur belgir sig \u00fat af bj\u00f3r ver\u00f0ur ma\u00f0ur ekki drukkinn heldur miki\u00f0 frekar k\u00e6rulaus. Tilfinningin i tungunni er eins og h\u00fan s\u00e9 a\u00f0eins \u00feykkari og p\u00ednul\u00edti\u00f0 lo\u00f0in. \u00de\u00e1 kemur fram \u00feessi \u00fe\u00f6rf a\u00f0 hreyfa og nota tunguna og ma\u00f0ur fer a\u00f0 bla\u00f0ra einhverja vitleysu.<\/p>\n
S\u00ed\u00f0an kemur \u00feetta svakalega k\u00e6ruleysi \u00ed kj\u00f6lfari\u00f0 og ma\u00f0ur l\u00e6tur teyma sig hvert sem er. \u00c9g get meira a\u00f0 segja svari\u00f0 a\u00f0 ef ma\u00f0ur drekkur svona eins og eina kippu af bj\u00f3r \u00e1 dag \u00fe\u00e1 \u00fearf ma\u00f0ur ekki a\u00f0 raka sig \u00ed viku. Skeggr\u00f3tin leggst einfaldlega \u00ed dvala og ma\u00f0ur fer svona \u00f3sj\u00e1lfr\u00e1tt a\u00f0 leita a\u00f0 h\u00e1rbustum um alla \u00edb\u00fa\u00f0. \u00dea\u00f0 er bara verst hva\u00f0 bj\u00f3rinn er g\u00f3\u00f0ur.
\n\u00cd raun er \u00feetta ekkert fyndi\u00f0. \u00deetta er h\u00e1alvarlegt \u00e1stand sem getur haft alvarlegar aflei\u00f0ingar. \u00dea\u00f0 er h\u00e1alvarlegt m\u00e1l a\u00f0 \u00e9g hafi teki\u00f0 mig til og gengi\u00f0 \u00ed 15 m\u00edn\u00fatur \u00fat \u00ed eitthva\u00f0 \u00e1tlett a\u00f0 kaupa f\u00f6t. Ekki bara n\u00e6rbuxur og sokka sem eru yfirleitt einu v\u00f6rurnar \u00e1 m\u00ednum innkaupalista \u00ed svona fer\u00f0um, heldur buxur og bol, jakka og skyrtur. Hva\u00f0 er a\u00f0 gerast. Spurning hvort ma\u00f0ur geti l\u00e1ti\u00f0 b\u00f3lusetja sig fyrir \u00e1tlettum?
\nHva\u00f0 um \u00fea\u00f0. \u00deegar \u00e9g var b\u00fainn a\u00f0 kaupa tuskurnar var sest ni\u00f0ur \u00e1 matartorginu \u00ed \u00e1tlettinu til a\u00f0 bor\u00f0a. N\u00fana var \u00fea\u00f0 k\u00ednverskt en ekki hamborgari sem var \u00e1g\u00e6tt. \u00c9g t\u00edmdi reyndar ekki a\u00f0 kaupa m\u00e9r bj\u00f3r \u00fer\u00e1tt fyrir mikla hvatningu fr\u00e1 eiginkonunni. \u00c9g held a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 hafi f\u00e6rit m\u00e9r viti\u00f0 aftur og \u00e9g fl\u00fdtti m\u00e9r a\u00f0 sk\u00f3fla matnum ofan \u00ed mig svo a\u00f0 \u00e9g g\u00e6ti fl\u00fai\u00f0 \u00feennan sta\u00f0 sem fyrst.
\nUm kv\u00f6ldi\u00f0 var haldi\u00f0 \u00e1 \u201cLong Horn\u201d steikh\u00fasi\u00f0 og \u00ed \u00feetta sinn var tekinn leigub\u00edll. Leigub\u00edllinn var Chervrolet Suburban sem m\u00e1tti muna f\u00edfil sinn fegurri og b\u00edlstj\u00f3rinn var ung kona \u00e1 m\u00ednum aldri fr\u00e1 Haiti. Alla var komin \u00ed stu\u00f0 og \u00e1\u00f0ur en vi\u00f0 n\u00e1\u00f0um \u00e1 lei\u00f0arenda vissi h\u00fan allt um hagi leigub\u00edlstj\u00f3rans. H\u00fan sag\u00f0i s\u00ed\u00f0an vi\u00f0 hana \u00e1\u00f0ur en vi\u00f0 f\u00f3rum \u00fat \u00far leigub\u00edlnum a\u00f0 henni fyndist \u201csvartar konur eins og h\u00fan allar l\u00edta \u00fat eins og Whoopi Goldberg\u201d. \u00dearna settum vi\u00f0 hin eina reglu. Alla m\u00e1tti ekki tala meira \u00ed leigub\u00edlum.
\nMaturinn var fr\u00e1b\u00e6r og drykkirnir l\u00edka og kostna\u00f0urinn l\u00e6gri en b\u00faast hef\u00f0i m\u00e1tt vi\u00f0. Svava naut s\u00edn vel og eftir matinn spur\u00f0i h\u00fan \u00fej\u00f3ninn hvort h\u00fan g\u00e6ti fengi\u00f0 \u201cten stick\u201d. H\u00fan \u00e6tla\u00f0i a\u00f0 segja \u201ct\u00e6ndstick\u201d af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hana minnti a\u00f0 h\u00fan v\u00e6ri \u00ed Noregi! \u00dearna var \u00e9g farinn a\u00f0 \u00f3ttast a\u00f0 s\u00f3lard\u00fdrin v\u00e6ru b\u00fain a\u00f0 hella of miklum v\u00ednanda ofan \u00ed sig og a\u00f0 framundan v\u00e6ri leigub\u00edlafer\u00f0 eins og \u00ed gamla daga. \u00cd \u00fe\u00e1 daga \u00fe\u00e1 koma \u00fea\u00f0 fyrir \u00feegar vi\u00f0 Alla s\u00e1tum saman \u00ed afturs\u00e6tinu \u00e1 leigub\u00edl eftir skemmtifer\u00f0 \u00ed Holly e\u00f0a Kl\u00fabbinn a\u00f0 m\u00edn halla\u00f0i s\u00e9r fram og sag\u00f0i vi\u00f0 leigub\u00edlstj\u00f3rann: \u201cHeyr\u00f0u, \u00e9g \u00feekki \u00feennan mann ekki neitt. Ertu til \u00ed a\u00f0 bjarga m\u00e9r\u201d. \u00d3ttinn reyndist \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0ulaus, Alla var sett \u00ed aftasta s\u00e6ti \u00ed leigub\u00edlnum og s\u00f3lard\u00fdrin voru stillt \u00e1 lei\u00f0inni ni\u00f0ur \u00e1 h\u00f3tel.
\nMe\u00f0fylgjandi mynd er af \u00d6llu a\u00f0 naglalakka \u00e1 s\u00e9r t\u00e6rnar fyrir utan steikh\u00fasi\u00f0.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5898,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[48],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5786","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pistlar-2016"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hvitur.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5786","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hvitur.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hvitur.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hvitur.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hvitur.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5786"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/hvitur.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5786\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6432,"href":"https:\/\/hvitur.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5786\/revisions\/6432"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hvitur.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5898"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hvitur.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5786"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hvitur.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5786"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hvitur.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5786"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}